It was one of those days where I could feel His presence so strongly that I saw and sensed Him everywhere around me. I was sitting outdoors on a beautiful late-spring afternoon; and I could see Him everywhere I looked—the trees, the flowers, the sky, the birds, and even in my own pets who all wandered over to where I was sitting and joined me. I could hear Him in the chirping of the birds and in the soft rushes of wind that blew through the trees. I could smell Him as the different scents of flowers and freshly cut grass were carried with that breeze. And as the gentle wind caressed my face, causing small wisps of my hair to flutter about my temples, I knew I was feeling His touch. My heart felt it would explode with all this wonder of Him and such love I felt! Love burst from within me for Him, a love I’ve never felt for any human or creature in all my lifetime. And I found myself thinking, "Why do I love Jesus so much?"
I searched my heart for an answer and naturally the first one that came to me was that He died for me. He went through such excruciating pain from torture and crucifixion…all for me, for my sins, for love of me. But that wasn’t the answer; at least not to my question on a personal level. Though I am very grateful to Jesus for what He did for love of me, there is a strong part of my soul that wishes He didn’t have to go through all of that pain. I cannot find joy in His crucifixion for I truly cringe at the thought of all He went through, and like anyone who loves someone so dearly, I would have loved to have spared Him that pain and suffering; and I often tell Him how sorry I am that my sins caused Him so much pain. So my next question was, "What if He didn’t die on the Cross for me? Would I still love Him?" A little more pondering, and then I realized that my answer was "yes", I would still love Jesus even if He had lived a long life, dying of old age. But that realization didn’t answer the "why" part of that question.
I began to think of Jesus’ life on earth and of His ministry. I asked myself, "Do I love Jesus because He was so good? So loving and kind and caring to the people who surrounded Him during His life?" Of course I love that part of Him. He loved everyone so much, how can one not return that love to Him? But then, I thought of all the other souls who have come and gone since Jesus’ time. People who lived truly like Christ did, ministering to others as He would have done. People like St. Francis Of Assisi and Mother Teresa came to mind as well as other kind, loving souls. They were all, and there are some among us now, good Christian men and women. But I don’t love them like I love Jesus.
Having contemplated His life and His death on the Cross, I still had no answer to my original question. So I asked myself again, "Why do I love Jesus with such great love that seems hardly possible for one little soul to feel? A love that often leaves me breathless?" And suddenly, the answer came to me. It was already there, all around and within me. I had already felt it, saw it, heard it, touched it. The answer is so simple, really. With a strong sense of knowing the truth of that answer, I smiled and said aloud, "I love Jesus because He is God!"
© CTherese, December 4, 2003
Therefore, you shall love the LORD, your God, with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength.
~Deuteronomy 6:5~
And the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us
~John 1:14~
